Marriage is a partnership....

C’mon people, what’s with this is mine, this is yours crap! I realize you might have some things which are or will be strictly yours or mine. His or hers. I am talking about the big picture here. What happened to two becoming one? I realize each marriage relationship is different. I just don’t understand the territorial nature of some people.

A good example in my own marriage are our vehicles. Sure, they are his car and her car, however, it isn’t that black and white. For us, they are a form of transportation from Point A to Point B, and so on. I don’t understand why couples get so infuriated to the point of unhealthy, toxic stew, about one spouse driving the others vehicle. In the end, you will not be able to take it with you.

No one said marriage would be easy. No one said there wouldn’t be challenges. However, why not cut some slack and make it a little easier one step at a time. I have found cutting out some of the superficial things have made it easier along the way. By doing so, when something on a grander scale comes along, i.e. job loss, health issues, etc., it makes it easier to focus on what’s really important.

Maybe, I see things differently since I have spent so many years battling various health issues. They ground you. They make you see things that you may not have seen before. Maybe, that’s why I find this issue so infuriating.

I am so blessed everyday to have a husband like mine. He is one of the sweetest, most caring people I know. He has stuck by me every step of the way. That’s what love, commitment, and marriage are about. It isn’t about just the happy times, it’s about sticking it out through all the challenges. Trust me, we have had our fair share.

Our relationship is unique, just like everyone else’s. We don’t see what happens behind closed doors. My point is relationships are hard. They are not perfect. We see what we want to see. We don’t see what the person inside sees. Are you getting what I am saying? We see what we want or choose to see and not what is.

Life is full of misinformation. Maybe, you heard something and think it to be true. When in reality, it is not. In our society, it seems like everyone is an EXPERT on everyone else’s lives.  We find it easier to look out at everyone else, instead of looking inward and looking at our own lives. The same goes for marriages. One couple might think that another couple’s marriage is so much easier. When, in fact, it may not be.

My point is this, if you have a strong foundation you can whether the hard times. If you don’t things will fall apart at the first sign of something going wrong. I am not saying marriage is easy; it is not. It takes daily work. It may or may not go right today, what really matters is that you keep on trying.

My husband and I had the following read during our wedding ceremony. Maybe, it will be of help in your own marriage. Maybe, it will not. I am going to share it with you anyhow. It’s up to you if you chose to use it or not. As I stated earlier, each marriage is different, unique. No matter where you stand in your marriage, I wish you the best!

Excerpt From The Prophet “On Marriage” By Kahlil Gibran

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.