Where did my Detroit Tigers go?

In the age of “Who’s your Tiger?”, I am more apt to ask, where are my Detroit Tigers?

I am a fan of baseball, yet, to the dismay of my husband at times, I would rather curl up with a good book next to him on the sofa while he is watching baseball. When the Detroit Tigers are on the road, my husband will watch at home or listen on the radio in the car. When they are at home, he is “living the dream” working in sports radio covering the Detroit Tigers.

Believe it or not, our wedding was scheduled around baseball. We were married in 2006. We were supposed to get married in October. Thankfully, for my husband’s sake and our marriage’s sake we moved it up to August. If we had stayed with our October date, my husband would not have been able to witness and cover the World Series. Their first ALCS title and World Series appearance since 1984.

Frankly, I have a disdain for watching baseball on television. I love to see baseball live and in person. I want the visceral experience. You know what I mean, the experience you can feel deep down inside, something words can’t even describe, an experience that years later can bring you back to that moment, that smell, that feeling. You can picture exactly where you were. That’s the kind of baseball that’s for me.

There is nothing like spending a warm summer day or evening at the ballpark. I like to start out my day or night at the game buying peanuts from the church outside of Comerica Park. I love that no matter where I sit I will need to pack and use sun screen. I love conversing with friends, family, or the people in seats nearby. I love to feel the fresh air in my face, my hair blowing in the breeze, an overpriced beer in each hand, a hot dog with mustard and relish. What’s better than that? Okay, the Tigers winning!!

So, let’s get back to that. Why haven’t the Tigers been winning? Why all the negative talk about them? Sure, we spent millions to lure Prince Fielder away from my Brewers, but I can’t really blame him. This is his hometown, and this is where is dad played. I would hope if I was in his position I would have done the same thing.

This past Sunday, we had Magglio Ordonez’s retirement from baseball at Comerica Park. It was a bittersweet moment for the fans, the city, the state, and frankly, all baseball fans. There was even a gesture from, former Tiger and current Yankee, Curtis Granderson, which could be interpreted as kindness, goodwill, and appreciation toward Magglio. Gone are the days fans in Detroit traded their Ben Wallace Fear the Fro hair, after the Pistons’ 2004 NBA Championship Title, in for Magglio hair for the 2006 ALCS and World Series. Who knew you could get so much use out of a wig owned by many Detroit sports fans in just a few short years, spanning two different sports? I will admit I will miss Magglio. It was great to have him on our team. As well, I found it ironic and bittersweet that Curtis Granderson was here with his Yankees to send Magglio off at the end of his career. Curtis Granderson was my favorite Tiger when he was here. Magglio has always held a special place in my heart as well. I wish Magglio and his family well as he leaves.

So, what is really happening with the Tigers? I am not exactly sure. I am not an expert on baseball. I know everyone has an opinion. Unfortunately, it’s been extremely negative lately.  I am just hoping the Tigers can get their act together as a team for themselves and for Detroit. We need something positive to look forward to in these economically turbulent times. Therefore, I am pulling for wins against Cleveland this week. I am hoping if they can pull that off, they will gain some momentum and continue climbing their way back to the top of their game. Then, I will be able to say my Tigers are back! However, this time I won’t be wearing my Magglio hair.

Passion for Giving Back

What’s your muse? Your passion? What makes you tick? All of us have questions like this that come up in our lives. How often do we answer them? The funny thing about life is not one single person looks at the world the same way, not a single one of us. Yet, we have the potential within us to be passionate about something. Usually, this is directed at our career path, whether we want children, pets, and a house with a big backyard. In life, it’s so easy to get wrapped up in these few things that we forget our passion can be directed at more than just those few things.

My husband and I both have a passion for our respective educational backgrounds and career paths. Currently, my path is on hold, and his is full steam ahead these days. I am blessed to know he is fulfilling his dream, his passion. How often do we as individuals really get to say that? I have wonderful dreams and passions taking a detour at the moment. In the meantime, I have focused my passion in other ways in which I can be helpful and of service.

Service you ask, why would I want to do that? I won’t tell you whether or not you should do it. I will just tell you my personal experience. It enriches me more than you can ever imagine. I am sure those of you reading this can attest to this being true. Helping others fills my heart, soul, and spirit with abundant joy. I am unable to put the true feeling to pen and paper, however, I hope you are getting the idea. It’s all encompassing. It’s amazing in just a few short moments you are making a big difference in the grand scheme of things.

An idea is how it starts. How else can it start? Big or small you can make a difference. Each of us, whether we express it outwardly or not, have an idea, a picture of how the world can become a better place. Some of us have small scale projects and others may have larger scale projects swirling in our minds. The scale of the project isn’t what matters, it’s the action.

Action, you say? Hmm... I have this great idea, and I can’t get off the ground. It’s okay. Haven’t we all been there at some moment, some stage of our lives? It can be difficult to know where to start on a project. It can be overwhelming. However, we have so many resources at our disposal. Maybe, we can all pick a charity, foundation, or organization that aligns with our values and ideals and input our various thoughts and ideas to make the world a better place one small step at a time.

Trust me, we aren’t going to always agree with what family members, spouses, life partners, significant others, friends, acquaintances, and colleagues chose to do. In the end, you need to choose what you can live with at the end of the day. That’s what ultimately matters. If you are going to give of your time and/or resources why not give back to something that tugs at your heart strings? Even in my own marriage, my husband and I have many of the same ideas and even some differences in where to give back, and that’s okay.

For me, I needed to find things that stirred up passion and joy within me. There is no reason to feel pressure to get involved in something that doesn’t make you feel some sort of spark, if it helps make a list of pros and cons. Usually, there are things you can fit in your schedule, your life. The best thing is no matter what you choose to do, you will be making a difference in someone’s life directly or indirectly. The point is that we do it. In addition, we get a benefit from giving back. Oftentimes, we make new and lasting friendships in the process. What could be better for our hearts and souls then to give joy back to others and in turn get more in return than you ever thought was possible?

So, go ahead, give it a try. You may like it.  You may not. In the end, you will find your place or places. All that really matters is that you do.

Childfree by Circumstance and Choice

I just finished a book entitled, Two is Enough: A Couples Guide to Living Childless by Choice by Laura Scott. I found it profound in many ways. It has allowed me to learn to be free of others expectations of my husband and I when it comes to children. It has brought new life to our family of two, well okay four with our furkids, pursuing our dreams, and traveling. I hope you find this following blog entry interesting, and you can come away from it with some insight you might not have had before. Thanks for reading!

Oftentimes, over the course of my almost six year marriage to my wonderful husband, Denny, I am asked if we have children or when are we having children. I politely respond that we have two wonderful furkids, a cat, Callie, who is ten years old, and a dog, Scruffy, who is twelve years old. I am proud to show them pictures of our adorable furkids on my smartphone. I think most people are dumbfounded that Denny and I aren't parents. I say, it’s none of their business. 

I have struggled for years with the question of parenthood in my future.  I knew early on that I loved children and wanted children of my own. My husband and I had this conversation before we were married, early on in our dating relationship. We had an idea on how many kids, how many pets, possible names, type of house, etc. However, early on in my teens and into my twenties and thirties, I had to face the fact alone and with my husband, that we might become childfree/childless by circumstance combined with choice.

That might seem odd to all of you reading this whom are not close to my husband and I. Yet, here we are approaching our six year anniversary, and eleven years of knowing each other childfree. I don’t believe either of us intended to embark on such a journey, however, that’s how life happened for us. I have spent much of my adult life struggling with various health issues. I know at times, probably more than I could know or comprehend, I have been a burden to my husband. I am not saying this to be negative, I am saying this to be truthful. I am very blessed to have a husband who has stood by me through the good and the bad. I know not everyone can say that, children or no children.

Most young adults are out there making their way in the world forging new identities and opportunities through their careers, marriage, and parenthood. True, marriage and parenthood doesn’t happen for everyone. In fact, I was on a career oriented path when I met my husband. I was trying to balance work, school, social life with what felt like insurmountable health issues.

When I decided that marriage and children were for me, I changed my outlook, my career path, to be more flexible for our marriage, our future children, and our work lives. Unfortunately, I have stumbled upon the truth that changing one’s life goals and dreams, although admirable, doesn’t always have the intended outcome.

I realize now that I varied my career path choices to be part of the social norm, only I am not living the norm. It means being childfree at this stage of my life is breathing new life into the dreams I let go of in pursuit of parenthood. In addition, I am realizing that everyday someone is going to have a new criticism of our life choices to this point. I don’t work outside of the home currently, and I fully intend on returning to the workplace.

That being said many people have criticized our life choices. They can’t fathom “having all the time in the world to do what you want.” I find it very unfortunate that some people feel the need to assume we get to do whatever we like. I wish I could say I sit at home watching daytime television eating bon bons. That is not the case. I cook, sew, volunteer, etc. The list goes on. Yet, I don’t feel the need to justify my actions.

In our culture and society, parenthood deems you exempt from certain judgements, certain pressures, since you are living the social norm. When you do not live the norm by choice or circumstance automatically something is wrong with you. Life is not linear like a time line in a history book. It can be jagged, smooth, abrasive, up, down, happy, sad, etc. The point is life is what you make of it. For us, it’s what deck of cards we have been given, and how we chose to play the game. It is not going to mesh with what people want to hear or deem appropriate at times, it just is.